all morning i've been wandering around, eating mostly (im trying to be health, i had a grapefruit (i start each moring with a grapefruit and i end each day with a grapefruit as of late, i dont know its like closure or something) and then i had egg whites, then i had chicken breast with honey, broccoli and cauliflower) its been a delightful morning. normally i cant handle being alone for long periods of time but im starting to like it (this is another sign im aging, also another sign is im wearing eye cream, but only because the guy at sephora gave me seriously a million testers of it, maybe he thought i was getting wrinkles. i just assumed he though i was cute, now im realizing it was probably the opposite haha) anways moving on from that memory, so im wandering through my house thinking about whether my hat matched the shirt and if my shirt really even goes with my pants, and since i have to go to church today i wanted to look somewhat together, oddly enough before i changed i had been walking around in a dress, you know just making breakfast, listening to music in one of my favorite dresses, but then i decided today was not a dress day. so anyways i have a point its just taking me a minute to get there (people say writing is supposed to help you gather your thoughts, frankly i think it skatters mine) im thinking hmmm should i wear this, do i look dumb, what will people say and then this phrase popped into my head, "its of no concern to you". why is it we worry so freaking much of what people think, it doesnt affect them, they dont have to look at you, its really of no concern to anyone what you wear or, if you do you make up or if your big or skinny or any of those things, the only person it really concerns is you but even then not really because you dont even have to look at yourself.
a few nights ago i was reminiscing about my childhood, i was probably the most fearless kid ever, i would talk to anyone, i would do anything, no one really scared me, i definitely thought for myself. when do we learn fear? when do we let people opinion affect us so much? when i was in 7th grade i died my hair white and cut it all off, for my entire jr school career i was the weird girl who did what she wanted and didnt care people thought (i had white, purple, and orange and black hair) it was so much fun. but now im afraid of everything, i probably wouldnt even be able to stand up in front of my class and say something without turning red. so my question is just that, when did we all start devaluating ourselves to the point we're afraid to speak? to the point we're afraid to think for ourselves? the truth of the matter is people dont ask enough questions. so thats were my statement comes into play, what i do, or say, or think, or how i look, or act, is of no concern to you (im not say you my lovely blogging family im saying the general public :)
now i told you i was listening to music all morning. im going to show it to you.
so these are probably my most favorite songs ever. love the last one, and the first one to. watch country strong. so freaking good.
this was my outfit today and my super awesome nail polish.
i am so bad at making decisions... i couldnt decide which picture i liked best so i just put all of them up.
my blogging may slow down in the next week since im going to be in California. but expect a few short and sweet messages.
LOVE YOU ALL :)
ps. im beginning to notice i write more things in () than i say about my general thoughts.... life is in the details.